HER SHARDS OF GLASS.

Her torment awakens her

Drapping the heavy, concrete-like weights for legs over the edge, wondering just how many shards of glass will fall with the first step of the day. 

One step and already hundreds come crumbling around her ice-cold feet. She gasps in the torturous pain, you'd think she'd know all too well. Each time, it's as if it's the first of the searing pain, excruciating throughout her entire body. She notices the tears welling up, but she wipes them away and tries again. Each step she takes, millions of shards fall behind her. Each is a reflection of her worries, traumas, grief, loneliness, worthlessness, and the negative self-talk that seeps through in the in between. Words that hold so much worth, she has no clue she's fueling them each time she repeats them. Giving them a destructive life form that has come to overrule her every being. 

Imagine being housed in a body that is set against you. Imagine a body that hurts with each minor movement, or one that comes crashing down in the world around her as she stands. The stars swirl around her like a spell, as she crumbles to earth. She continues to get back up, leaving more shards of emptiness behind. She wonders how there is anything left of her... Imagine having a brain that torments your every waking and sleeping second, all while holding the power to let you drift off into a sweet lullaby. Rather, the brain plays a cruel game of run, hide, survive, all while trying to figure out if you are awake or not this time... 

The cruelty is that our brains have no way to detect true danger, so we automatically go into survival mode. What a torturous way of life. Something so powerful truly does hold the key to your happiness. 

I will leave those broken pieces where they fall, and grasp onto the shards of positivity and hope. Those are far and few between, so she holds onto them with her soul as if that's the guide to survival. SHE KEEPS GOING!!!